After two upbeat posts in a row, we are feeling especially cranky. So ornery that we are going to cancel today’s traditional “Fast Follow-Up Friday” and instead take the piss out of one of Marketing’s top-five gurus. This is not to be confused with “taking the piss,” a favorite phrase of George Parker’s, which means “to take liberties.”
We take no liberties when dissecting the phenomenon known as Guy Kawasaki, as he has taken them all for himself.
As background, Kawasaki’s claim to fame are the six years he spent at Apple, first from 1983 to 1987 as a “Software Evangelist,” then from 1995 to 1997 as “Chief Evangelist.” Again, no liberties taken here – this is real. In fact, this is how Kawasaki describes the latter role:
“My job description was to protect and preserve the Macintosh cult by doing whatever I had to do.”
In addition to running a venture capital portfolio of many Silicon Valley-ish companies, Kawasaki has spent the ensuing years aggregating other people’s stuff. To wit:
- Established “Alltop,” a site that scrapes dozens of well-known blogs and sites into a crude directory.
- Established “Truemors,” a collection of the “most interesting stories” handpicked by "truemorists" around the world.
- Recently knocked out his tenth book, titled “Enchantment,” a busman’s tour of existing material that starts at Dale Carnegie and ends up nowhere (unless you don’t know what a proper handshake is).
- Churns out articles for American Express’s OPEN forum that are basically one-sentence introductions to the work and words of others (with fawning “Great post, Guy!” comments pouring in…WTF?).
- Auto-pushes roughly five tweets per hour, 90% of them pointing to someone else’s nonsense (example: “USDA to announce food recalls by Twitter”).
An admitted front-runner, who has twisted the Midas phrase to define himself as “Whatever is gold, Guy touches.”
For all of this and more, Guy Kawasaki is rewarded with 646,824 Twitter followers, within spitting distance of the #1000-ranking Un Curioso Dato (whatever that is). A master of the “self-promotion” part of marketing, still introduced as “former Apple evangelist” which as noted above is FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, guest speaking nearly 75+ times per year at an estimated $40k+ per, the rest of the time given over to interviews.
And what a doozy from Inc.com, repeated on Business Insider at the beginning of this week. Here are key excerpts:
- “You really can't spend money on social media unless you really try.”
- “It's very difficult to create goals and strategies for something…if you're not familiar with [it]…”
- “The start of all great marketing is to have a great product.”
- “I love that you can edit your posts and comments [on Google+] after you've posted…I edit almost every one I do.”
- “My recommendation for SEO is very simple. It’s Write Good Stuff.”
If you believe any of this flip batshit, then you have learned firsthand Guy Kawasaki’s biggest marketing lesson. You have been enchanted. You have been evangelized. You have been converted.