The Super Bowl will be played on Sunday, February 3rd. As will 112 million Americans. But, because you read this post, you won’t be one of those being played.
In the weeks leading up to Super Bowl Sunday, viewers will be led to believe that two Doritos advertising spots, each clocking in at a media placement cost of roughly $3.8 million, were made by Doritos “consumers.”
You, on the other hand, being a Lairig Marketing reader, will mumble to yourself “What bullsh&t. These ads were made by professionals, who probably wouldn’t pee on a bag of Doritos if it was on fire.” (see Dirty Harry / Clint Eastwood, pre empty chair)
Doritos just announced its five finalists from a pool of “thousands of fan entrants” to its now-7th annual “Crash the Super Bowl” user-generated-content contest. One of them has a chance to win $1 million.
Consistent with years past, none of the finalists is a rube with an old Flip video camera. To a whitish man, they are all film professionals. As follows:
- "Goat 4 Sale" (P.S.: a horror show) by Ben Callner…who is a PROFESSIONAL director at Pogo Pictures, and a prior Doritos Super Bowl ad contestant
- "Road Chip" by Tyler Dixon…who is a PROFESSIONAL independent writer and director, who will count this as his THIRD appearance as a Doritos Crash finalist
- "Fashionista Daddy" (P.S.: so gay that the gays won’t like it) by Mark Freiburger…who is a PROFESSIONAL writer and producer, with two quasi-major movie releases, an IMDB listing, and his own Wikipedia entry!!!
- "Express Checkout" (P.S.: unwatchable) by Sasha Shemirani…who is a PROFESSIONAL writer and director on the festival film circuit, as well as an “award-winning” photographer
- "Fetch" by Joe Taranto…who is an “award winning” director of short films and commercials, currently completing a master's degree in film and television
As an illustration of how these are not your garden-variety UGC contestants, the “Goat 4 Sale” post-production roster includes Beast, Company 3, Method Studios, and Tunewelders, all of whom are high-end video/audio production outfits (Method has contributed to a million movies, not the least of which is the superb Argo !!!).
One quick aside: we predicted here in our December 20th post that (1) at least one of the Doritos finalists would be a spot with a dog, and that (2) the Doritos “dog spot” would be the winner of the 2013 Best Super Bowl Commercial.
So, mark us now, “Fetch” will be the 2013 Best #1 Super Bowl Ad.
But back to our main thesis. If it is public knowledge that NONE of the five finalists is a rookie camcorder-wielding chipster, then how cheesy, paneery even, is this statement from Ram Krishnan, VP of marketing at Frito-Lay:
"Every year, we're simply overwhelmed with the quality, creativity and talent behind our fans' ads…Each of these five finalists brought their A-game to the contest…”
Wake up, Ram. These ain’t no fans. They are pros. A-game is all they would ever bring.