Given the time of year, we thought it proper to say just how thankful we are for what is, to Lairig Marketing at least, the most joyous of gifts we receive, on an almost daily basis. But it isn’t just the frequency of these offerings that brings us such rapture. It is the straight-faced, bat-shit craziness of what’s inside.
Yes, we are talking about crappy market research.
Most of it fits into one of these categories:
- Not statistically valid
- Dumb question or dumb answer, or both
Here is an example of a dumb question. Last year, Forrester surveyed coupon users. Among other things, it revealed this nugget:
“Nearly 75% of active coupon users said they would be more likely to try a new brand if they had a coupon, compared with 54% of less active users.”
In other words, coupon users who are more active would be, um, more active. Who knew?!?
Here is an example of a dumb question. A biased study, by online video tech company Ooyala, about online video:
“Premium video content -- movies, TV and sports programming -- now accounts for more than 60% of total time Internet users spend watching video online.”
Could it be because movies and TV shows and sports ARE WAY LONGER THAN VIDEOS OF DOGS ON SKATEBOARDS? F&ck.
And one that stretches logic to the extreme. comScore tracks website visitors by device, and in doing so concluded that in July, 47% of all smartphone users in the U.S. had visited Amazon VIA THEIR SMARTPHONE, and that 31% of them also had visited eBay VIA THAT SAME SMARTPHONE.
Think of it. That means ONE OF EVERY TWO people staring into their phone on the bus are either on amazon.com or will be soon. It means one of every three people you pass on the street peering into their palm are bidding for a new accessory for their palm...on eBay.
Have some fun this Thanksgiving. During dessert, go round the table for a show of hands for anyone and everyone who has been to Amazon or eBay via his or her smartphone this past month.