Chinese food is made so that people can sit down and eat without a lot of conviction or interest.
Anyone can eat Chinese food – especially people who are not Chinese. Like Jews on Christmas Eve, for example.
And if a plate of Chinese food is large enough, people can sit down together…and tell jokes or make up stories about the food. Like the ones about dogs.
Chinese food is for simple folk, and that is why Chinese food is like Facebook.
Mai tais. Chop sticks. Those cute, tiny paper umbrellas.
These are things Chinese restaurants use to make us forget what exactly is on our plates. So we don’t ask how is it possible that sweet and sour can exist at the same time. Or who the hell is General Tso.
Dance floors. Basketball. A great fortune cookie.
A great fortune cookie is something people read so they can have something to post to Facebook later on.
The Chinese menu.
It is vast, and often illegible. And makes us wonder how we could be so hungry – and alone – one hour later.