Is it me, or didn’t we used to get a month of sunny 60-degree days before summer came? The heat is quickly rising, and it is burning many of the marketers we’ve mentioned here at Lairig Marketing. Let’s take a quick tour.
Now Ballmer Has A Reason To Sweat
We were the first blog anywhere to repeatedly point out the four-years-and-running $500 million quarterly losses in Microsoft’s “Online Service Division.” Yet it took its $8.5 BILLION purchase of Skype to get big-time investor David Einhorn’s underwear in a twist. He has asked for Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer’s head. Loyal readers will know Monkey Boy’s exit was one of our end-of-2010 predictions, with a forecasted October 2011 timing. Right on track. Stock up on the Certain Dri, Stevie.
Another CEO In A Soup
Loyal Lairig Marketing readers will also know we’ve pounded the table repeatedly on Campbell Soup’s lousy marketing strategy for its core soup business. Once again, we update you on ANOTHER quarterly drop in soup sales – down 7% (accelerating from the prior quarter’s 4% loss). Shitasmic. CEO Doug Conant couldn’t care less, as he plans his retirement at the end of July. He just published a book titled: “TOUCHPOINTS: Creating Powerful Leadership Connections in the Smallest of Moments.” Can such a longgggggg title cover over his “leadership” of Campbell’s horrid performance these past three years?
Can’t Run Fast Enough From Sears
Another marketer we’ve beat on relentlessly, most recently here, is Sears. Now sister company Kmart is sucking wind also, expected to be down 1.6% in same-store sales for its Q1. Can’t hold a candle to Sears though, which is expected to drop another 5.2% in Q1 sales. Perhaps my characterization of Sears as “too big to fail” may prove to be wrong. In any case, best of luck to its newly named ad agency, McGarryBowen, which will be forced to invent some bullsh&t campaign theme about how shopping at Sears can make your life more fulfilling. We have seen that movie before.
Once Again, No One Watches TV Anymore
While the rest of the blogs continue to talk single-mindedly about digital or social media, Lairig Marketing stands alone in reminding the marketing world of the power of TV advertising. We are keeping a little scorecard of sorts, for marketers announcing their “first ever” or “first in a long time” TV campaigns. Here are the latest:
- Maker’s Mark (icky booze) – first national TV campaign ever
- TravelZoo (icky travel site) – first TV ad ever
- Edge (icky shave gel) – first TV campaign in three years
The Way Back Machine: Jamba Juice
One of our early (2008) “How Would You Save” candidates, Jamba Juice, is a popular post for Web searchers – must be a big business school case. Well, add this to the “mix”: according to recent financial analysis by SmarTrend, JMBA has the lowest-ranking return on equity of restaurant companies, coming in at 172%. Oh, and don’t forget to put a NEGATIVE sign in front of that number.
There are about 50 more updates we could do, but we’re out of space and time.