As in life, there are there big lies in marketing:
- Consumers are in control of your brand
- You can crowd-source your marketing
- Your brand must be authentic
All of them unmitigated bullshit. We’ve addressed these lies here on Lairig Marketing before. We’ve also covered the topic of crappy taglines several times. Instead of getting better, things are getting frighteningly worse. I’ve dozens of examples, but space only for these three.
Jammin’ to the 80s
Henkel is a veritable house of CPG brands. Based in Germany, the conglomerate’s name sounds like a friend of Colonel Klink’s from Hogan’s Heroes. A few weeks ago, Henkel announced its new tagline: “Excellence is Our Passion.”
Pablum follows pablum – you will not be surprised to know what the CEO said when Henkel announced its new look = “we strive to be the best in everything we do.” My God. It’s 1985 all over again, and I am in a statistical quality control training session – help !!!
You make shampoo. Consumers don’t want “excellent” shampoo. You are dead in the soul if you can get worked up over internal excellence.
The “Your” Pandemic
A year ago you could ask ten people to define cloud computing and you’d get ten different answers. Nowadays, things are a little better – you might get only eight definitions today. But instead of helping us understand it better, VMWare went all Pizza Hut on us.
Its new tagline? “Your Cloud.” Besides saying nothing, it has a “jumbo shrimp” connotation to it, since the technology that will host “your cloud” isn’t really “yours” at all.
The “Our” Pandemic
One of the greatest product names ever was the one United Airlines chose for its private airport lounge – the Red Carpet Club. Like many other gems, it will soon be gone, replaced by – drumroll please – the United Club. From the press release:
“The United Club rebranding is another part of the company’s integration of the two airlines [Continental]…”
Marketers are giving up. They have lost their soul – so ironic in an era of “social media.” No allegories, metaphors, aspirations. Companies are now spending 20 cents in 20 seconds on brand management.
Customers deserve better. But it looks like we shouldn’t hold our breath waiting for it.